For such a stereotypically cultureless place, the United States sure has a lot of cultures in it. Disregarding the 90% of the country where tractor tires flank the entrance to the dirt path that takes you to…
Tip #22: Grieving Vicariously
I’ve tried, at times, to count how many human beings I have truly interacted with in my short lifetime. Besides those who I’ve ordered a burger from, picked up my dry cleaning from, or simply said “Excuse me,” to on…
Tip #21: Howdy, I’m a Haole…and Other Things to Never Say in Hawaii
Prejudice is a bitch; and I’m white. I think everyone would agree that the black and native populations around the world have experienced prejudice to the most extreme degree, enduring centuries of persecution, systemic discrimination, and often genocide. Nevertheless it…
Tip #20: Payoffs That Really Pay Off
Enlightenment thinkers believed that human beings were born as untouched entities, innocent of the world, and therefore as malleable as a lump of Playdough. This was the childhood “clean slate”, or tabula rasa in Latin. Essentially, babies started fresh…
Tip #17: Hustlers Gon’ Hustle
America has a strange way of choosing its capital cities. All across the world, government seats are shining bastions of culture, wealth, and power. All citizens look to these cities as trendsetting locales to be admired, to…
Tip #14: Risking Adventure or Risking Your Life
On the list of mankind’s greatest fears, staying in a youth hostel ranks just above fear of your own imminent and inevitable death. Without seeing the movie “Hostel” and thinking some wacko (yet super sexy) girls will trick you…
Tip #13: Companions, otherwise known as Latchers-On
The concept of a “companion” fascinates me. Simply defined as “one who accompanies you”, they are neither friend nor family and at times, they can very quickly degenerate into a nemesis. This is the individual who will, for a short…
Tip #12: Bread Riots on the Bus
There are special places in hell for a few select professions, and as far as I’m concerned, bus drivers make the cut. According to Dante Aligheri, there are nine concentric circles of hell, and according to me, the place for…
Tip #10: The Proud Stripper (maybe)
It was barely noticeable, but right then I watched as a man’s mental faculties shut down rapidly and any brainpower was diverted to purely primal urges. Our new travel companion, in a purely run-of-the-mill conversation about what we do for…
Tip #9: “Holier than thou” Is Right
I fucking hate Bible thumpers. There is nothing worse than these vitriolic little photons coming together by the bajillions to comprise the highest-energy beam of celestial light, the gamma ray, effusively emitting the equivalent of the Sun’s entire lifetime energy…